Cautious Disclosure

by Mary and Allegra

We've talked a little about our multiplicity with our father again lately.  We've only spoken in general terms; we don't want to overload him with information that he doesn't need and/or won't likely retain.  "I can't remember all of your component parts," he said.  He doesn't have to; the fact that he's willing to listen is enough.

We are a second-generation multiple; our mother was also a member of the club, but she never really accepted it.  In light of her erratic behavior throughout the years, it made sense to our father when we discussed her multiplicity, again in general terms, shortly after she died.  We printed out for him a copy of Jeff Vineburg's The Manual, which he read.  A lot of it rang true for him.

So, if he's receptive, we'll take it as a positive and an opportunity.  He wants to be supportive, and we appreciate this.  He asked if he could talk about our multiplicity with his own therapist, and we said that he could.  We're okay with him talking with his therapist about anything that's helpful to his own well-being.

So....we'll see what happens when we take our father to his appointment tomorrow.  Some of the others are mildly concerned; while we respect the work that our father's therapist is doing, the bottom line is that he's our father's therapist and not ours, and it feels like more of a risk (or at least more of an uknown) in disclosing to someone with whom we haven't established a deeper trust level.  We'll just have to take a chance.