by Charity
It's occurred to us during the last few days that there's a good deal of significance to the fact that both Rachel and Deborah are each/both working through their part of our past as slowly as they are. There's a common thread. Both have experienced the early-childhood trauma viscerally, but in different ways. Rachel's held the anger, and Deborah's held the sadness, anxiety, and fear. Both of them continue to relive these experiences as if they're still happening.
I understand this. I've been there. The need to be nurtured still plagues me. So I'm not without empathy for Rachel and Deborah and the others.
Our T has talked with us about dyads, that is, people in our system who frequently spend time together and work together as a pair--Mary and me, Laura and Allegra, and so forth. Our other three adults have not been part of a dyad. When we've thought about this, we've assumed that if other dyads were to form, one would be between Deborah and Drew because both are quiet and tend to keep to themselves.
But with all of the trauma work that we've done lately, we've begun to realize that not only would the dyad in question involve Deborah and Rachel (rather than Deborah and Drew), it's absolutely essential that Deborah and Rachel develop this dyad so that each of them, and the system as a whole, can continue to heal. The work that each of them needs to do is like two adjacent pieces to the same puzzle.
They're both aware of this. Neither is particularly thrilled, but both of them accept the validity of the realization. As for Drew, she remains alone in the woods and shows no signs of changing.
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