Between Sessions: To Contact or Not to Contact?

by Mary and Allegra

[To someone on reddit DID who posted about feeling anxious when not receiving regular texts from her T:]

We hear you. These things vary from situation to situation. Some Ts don't allow any contact at all between sessions; others allow it to one degree or another.

We ourselves have 13 years of equity with our T, who is very reasonable and who understands the particular needs of trauma survivors, especially those who are multiple. We are allowed to text, call, or email when needed. If we need a response, we specifically ask for one. And we don't overuse the privilege.

As for your situation, we'd recommend that you keep talking to your T about all the feelings you've described here. The issue is not the contact itself, but how you feel about the contact and her response.

[On whether it was a good idea to start texting in the first place:]

You always have the option to stop texting. If she asks why, you can tell her why--if you want to give a reason. You have choices.

[On soothing littles who feel triggered by a lack of response from the T:]

How about creating a safe inside place where they can go when they get upset about such things? Perhaps where they can be comforted by someone in your system who can act as a caretaker?

We do this in our system. Our littles who are under the age of four are protected 24/7 from events on the outside, as well as from concerns on the inside that may be causing stress for the older folks. This way we can tend to what's best for the system as a whole without constantly having to worry about whether doing "X" will upset the younger ones.

Something to think about.