The "P Word"

by Laura

[Someone we know recently made a forum post about whether there's more to so-called "protectors" than the stereotype suggests.]

I can relate to a lot of this, though no one in our system likes thinking in terms of labels or roles.

I can be nasty and cruel if I let myself be that way.   I have a motto:  Do Not F*ck With Me.  You Will Not Win.

I have another motto:  I Think; Therefore I B*tch.

I like to say things just to see how people will react.  I like to vent so that I can be done with feelings--consequences be damned.

I have gotten us into trouble at work more times than I can count.

I struggle with the burden of my own strength.  I rebel constantly against authority.  I hate responsibility and wonder if I will ever be what 17.5 feels like, or even if there is such a thing.

Our kids like me.  I understand them.  Part of me hates this, because I hate anything that suggests showing vulnerability.

I'm learning to keep my mouth shut.  And I hate that too.