No Host, No Original

by Charity

I need to say this, for my own benefit as much as to clarify to outside people.

I am not the host or the original. Our system has never had a host and will never have one. And by definition, the original ceased to exist after the first system members were formed.

In infancy, the first formation occurred. I was created to hold all of our emotions and experience anything that might produce emotions. amanda was created to have physical needs (eating, diaper changing, and so forth) satisfied without emotions or thoughts interfering.

amanda remains at the approximate age of six months. We believe this is her age because she is not able to sit up by herself. For those of you who are parents of outside children, please excuse us if we are misinformed about child development.

When we discovered our system, I experienced myself as being age 21 and the oldest system member. Because our other adults aged from 18-19 up to 23, I had to age to 25 to remain the oldest. I do not age past 25, because the body turning 25 was traumatic for me.

The most important thing that I take away from posting this is that coming to terms with my prominence in our history and in our system does not mean I have to change my understanding of how our system works. I am not the original. I was formed from the original to hold emotions.

I needed to say that.