Feeling Isolated by Stress and Loss

by Charity

[We just made this forum post:]

We're feeling isolated from just about everyone now, including the multiple community. So much of our life feels stressful and unstable now. We are safe, but we have nothing that helps us to feel grounded and secure.

In summary:

1. Our father passed away last September after dealing with several serious illnesses for four and a half years. We ourselves spent a significant amount of time and energy helping to take care of him.
2. Since our father's passing, we've had to deal with helping to clean out the house and sell it, repeatedly experiencing the loss of letting go of our parents' stuff from the house they owned for 40 years. We feel the loss of our childhood in addition to the loss of our father.
3. With our father gone, we've had to provide guidance to brother number 2, who has special needs. He can support himself and live independently, but he doesn't have the ability to deal with big-picture life issues. We have neither the ability nor the desire to take on the extra responsibility.
4. We have had stress at work for as long as we can remember, but particularly during the last four years or so. It's a good job, but we've always hated working and hated commuting. We really want to retire, but that's not possible.
5. We haven't worked on our website for five years. Developing and updating it has always been very important to us. It's part of who we are and it gives us a sense of purpose. We took it down for renovation in early 2010 but just haven't had the energy to get back to it.
6. Another support site for multiples, in which we have been active for 18 years, has become less active during the last four years or so, and is unlikely to become more active any time soon. Or worse.

Our T keeps saying that we're making progress anyway. But it feels like the stress and the loss and the isolation and the loneliness will never end.