Kind of a Meltdown

by Allegra

Therapy didn't go too well for Charity the other day.  She tried to explain to our T how important it was that we live by our belief that adults, rather than minors, should be responsible for the system.

Our T maintained that Charity wasn't able to take on such a level of responsibility, and perhaps she was right in the literal sense.  But this approach isn't going to help us, because it discounts the importance of being true to our core values.  And because she felt that our T wasn't validating those values and needs, Charity became more upset.  If we don't feel validated by our therapist, how can we possibly benefit from therapy?

But because Charity's emotions were so strong, she couldn't articulate why she was upset. The end result was that we scheduled another appointment for tonight, which we'd wanted to do anyway.  We need to formulate an approach that takes our core values into account.  It's not just Charity that needs to be responsible for the system; it's all the bigs.  Charity sees herself as the one who's ultimately the most responsible, which may be worth debating at some point, but not now.  It's more important to all of us that all of the bigs work toward being responsible, even if it seems that they can't handle it right now.

Small steps.  It's the only way to move forward.  If they don't take any steps, we won't heal.  But a commitment to small steps will make things better.