by Mary and Allegra
Friend at PsychForums: Many alters exist so that trauma
memories are dissociated, separated from other alters. It is grotesquely
unfair of relatively trauma-free alters to blame more traumatized
alters for their pain and the resulting damage in them. Some parts
suffer so that others don't have to. Respect them, thank them for what
they sacrificed for you.
Does anyone have the reverse
scenario in their system? Where those who were traumatized resent those
who are trauma-free, because of the "unfairness" of only some people
holding it?
For quite some time, this has been a big sticking
point in our healing. We keep repeating the sentence, "Life is not
fair." Yet, in a way, the emotions behind this statement of
"unfairness" are real and valid--and an aspect of the trauma itself.
Each
of us has a right to our feelings. But it's the digging in of heels,
the use of these feelings as an excuse for not wanting to move forward
until the "unfairness" is corrected....this is the problem for us.
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