by Charity
I feel lost when Mary's not around. And ashamed that I feel lost. Because I'm the oldest, and I'm supposed to be the wisest and the most responsible. (This isn't surprising, as we are the oldest of three siblings). Please don't suggest that I stop thinking in "shoulds." I already know this. I also know that I let my feelings run my life.
I don't feel as bad as I did a couple of months ago, but I don't feel strong or capable. I feel like I'm only able to float passively through life, as we did throughout our childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood.
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