by Charity and Laura
[Response to two multiple friends each concerned about their adult selves being controlled by teens in their respective systems.]
Laura: I can identify with [your teen].
In many ways, we were forced to be responsible for ourselves at a very early age. We couldn't count on our caregivers, and today, we can't count on our bigs. I've always resented this big-time. I'd go into further detail, but I don't want to hijack your thread.
Not saying that your system dynamics are the same as ours. Just letting you know I identify with [your teen]'s point of view.
Charity: I hear you [both]. I am 25 and am the oldest in our system, although our body will turn 54 next month. Laura is correct; our other adults and I have not handled responsibility well at all, and we want very much to change this.
For me, part of this process involves reclaiming my own pain. Throughout our life I've let others carry it for me, but it's time to relieve them of what should rightfully be returned to me. Reclaiming all of this pain is a very traumatic endeavor. I have been in constant flashback mode for months. But I keep going.
I hope that each of you finds a way to peace and healing.
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