Acceptance and Moving Forward, Part 2

by Charity

We also feel as if acceptance equals dismissing the validity of our pain, as if the pain never existed.  As if we never felt hurt or experienced what hurt us.  And this in turn feels as if we're invalid as people.

We have a great deal of difficulty separating our sense of self from our concept of other people.  An infant sees the caregiver as an extension of him/herself.  If the caregiver meets the infant's needs, the infant thrives and develops a healthy sense of self, gradually letting go of the perception of the caregiver as an extension of self.  The child becomes his or her own person.

This never happened with us.  At least it feels this way.

We posted the above as "we."  It should say "I."  I've been difficult and I haven't cared.  I've been difficult on purpose and have felt no desire to change.  I want to disappear and not exist.  I'm not going anywhere, but I wish that I were.