by Charity
I mentioned this to our T, but I didn't post it here. When we were out to dinner with our family, B1 asked us if it was okay for SIL to read the blog. Back when we'd first discussed being multiple with him, he had told SIL without asking our permission first. When we'd asked him why he'd done so, he'd told us that he didn't keep secrets from her.
Well, that was noble from a marital perspective, but we didn't feel that he'd shown respect for our privacy. Don't get us wrong, we like SIL and are glad that B1 married her. But we still deserve respect for our privacy, whether B1 is married or not. We're not a danger to ourselves or others. Keeping our confidence wouldn't have threatened B1's marriage or relationship with SIL.
I still get angry thinking about it.
Back to the recent dinner. When B1 asked if it was okay for him to share the blog with SIL, we were surprised, given what had happened years earlier. "Thank you for asking first," we told him. "Yes, she can read it."
Forward to now. We've been thinking that it's likely that B1 feels somewhat at a loss to help or support us when I struggle as much as I have been lately. He's no therapist, nor should he be. As SIL once told us, when something really upsets him, such as our father's passing two years ago, "[B1] will cry for 10 minutes, and then he won't cry again for 10 years."
It's not our intent to make anyone feel helpless by sharing our struggle. And to compound the matter, we don't feel able to be supportive to others. So we keep taking without giving. We've turned into our mother, and I hate this.
No comments:
Post a Comment