Taking a Powder

by Laura and Allegra

Someone on one of the forums that we frequent brought up the topic of insiders disappearing for long periods of time.  We can definitely identify with this.

Laura:  There have been a couple of times (mainly with our former therapist, who retired over 10 years ago), when I was the only one who would come out during T. It was like being stuck alone in the halls of Hogwarts or Versailles, except less ostentatiously decorated. More like a particular episode of The Flintstones where people were running in and out of doors in a long hallway for some reason. Except in my situation, nobody else was in the hall.

Allegra: Two of our five bigs are rarely at or near the front. Drew has been deep in the woods for a very long time.  And speaking of Versailles, Deborah had her own internal Versailles for many years, but now she just isolates herself in the parlor of our inside house. Her original "presentation" to the rest of the system was that of someone who was so ostentatiously wealthy that she could keep other people away. She's come to acknowledge that she actually doesn't feel like she has anything of substance to offer the outside world.

But the truth is that in addition to having innate worth as an individual, Deborah is an important part of the adult team that's essential to guiding our system through everyday life. So is Drew, although Drew is definitely more of a loner and has less desire to interact with others.