by Laura
We're not sure what provoked us into being in a triggered state this afternoon. We're usually not waylaid by seemingly random stressors that we can't identify, nor do we usually end up in a depersonalized/derealized state. (We can never figure out which of those two is which. All we know is that we couldn't stay present without wanting to dissolve or implode or something.)
Ungrounded. We felt ungrounded all afternoon. Every time we go over to the house to throw out stuff, it feels like we're losing a part of who we are. This was the first time that we and our two brothers were joined by brother number 1's wife and two teenage daughters. Essentially, it was the whole immediate family cleaning together for the first time, and it felt like loss to the Nth degree.
Not sure what else to say. We get frustrated by how imprecise language is. It's hard to convince ourselves that we've made ourselves clear to others, especially when we often feel like we're not clear to ourselves.
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