The Neon Bull's-Eye

by Charity

Multiple friend, on the subject of attachment: ...It hasn't happen(ed) because we wanted it to or because it made sense that it should.

Yes. We....I.... :-/  ....had this vision of how our system should be, the ideal family that we never felt that we had. In some ways, this has come to fruition with the way the teens take care of the children. But there's a lot of ugliness between some of us older folks.

Friend: Trust....means being vulnerable.

We went through our early years as a neon-lit bull's-eye of vulnerability. We were good at being silent but terrible at monitoring our body language, and we gave off this aura. We had no idea how to protect ourselves, and no hope that others would protect us.

Friend: Maybe (trust is) what's necessary for true attachment to happen....

Yes. We don't trust. Our T has 13.5 years of equity with us and vice-versa. We can talk to one of our brothers. But they and everyone else go living their own lives, as they should. We end up isolated and alone, and we don't know how to solve the painful puzzle of lack of connection.