Why the Willow Weeps, 8/8/16

by Charity

It's difficult returning to work after a four-day weekend.  Last night, as we lay in bed trying to get to sleep, I wasn't dreading the prospect of having to leave the house, but I definitely wasn't looking forward to it.  The sequence of events is a bit of a blur, but I remember that at one point I felt the presence of a slightly angry, impatient young child, who I then saw was arianna.

(I use the term "saw" loosely here, because in our innerworld we see places but not people.  To "see" someone inside, we have to guess based on evidence, and we end up with a foggy visualization that we can't guarantee is accurate.  But the topic of foggy visualizations is best left for another time.)

Whatever arianna was upset about, it was short-lived, because she went inside fairly quickly.  The feeling of impatience gradually gave way to a feeling of the presence of a different young child, this one anxious.  I assumed that because arianna was just out--and she is rarely out--then this had to be willow, who is also rarely out.  The relationship between willow and arianna is a complicated one, considering that both of them are out so rarely, and never together.  They have separate rooms inside.  arianna is stoic and impatient and does not like feeling held back or trapped, and she has no use for willow's sensitivity and emotionalism.

willow, conversely, avoids arianna so as not to risk rejection, and she ends up spending most of her time alone.  Only recently has she summoned the courage to venture away from sitting under the willow tree located in a remote area of our internal landscape, coming to the periphery of the play area in the backyard.

She was not easily soothed last night.  She seemed a bit more grounded after reaching for her little stuffed Piglet, but she still needed the comfort of someone that she could trust.  Apparently I wasn't that peron.  :-/  It was just as well, because I didn't feel capable of helping much, nor did I fully feel the desire.  I don't like having conflicting feelings.  They make things too complicated, and I feel even more flawed than I would feel otherwise.  Somehow we fell asleep, only to find Piglet lying by himself when we woke up in the morning.