by Laura
It also doesn't help that our life f*cking sucks.
Not all the time, but a lot of the time. And don't think that just because I tell crap for what it is that I'm on path to self-destruction, or that I want to be. When it comes to feelings, I'm a sh*t magnet. I soak up other people's sh*t feelings so that, well, they don't have to.
I didn't ask to do this, nor do I want to. The fact that I still end up doing this has frustrated the hell out of me for years and years on end. I believe that it makes me weak to feel at all, much less to feel the worst, most vulnerable emotions of others. But I'm starting to realize that the opposite is true: that I pick up on others' feelings so easily because my protector radar is up, and that I'm just doing a good job picking up on signals and variations in the world around me, in people around me, and in the balance of things.
If it moves, if it changes, I'm aware of it. And damned if I'm gonna fail to prepare us for it.
I'll write more about suckage later. Or somebody else will. I just want to rest.
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