Bad = Real, Good = Illusion? (TW), Part 2

by Allegra

[Friend 1:] I don't mean to sound flippant, but what has worked for me is telling myself that the universe does not give a crap about anyone in particular. None of us, including myself, is so important that there are someone out there "out to get" us.

When we are feeling grounded, this is a belief that helps us. Mary (23) in particular finds it easy to see the universe from a meta-perspective.

[Friend 2:] I found I needed to have a focal point that is reliable with strength, goodness, and power to guide you and help you overcome and be able to see things.

That would be our T, who we have been seeing for 13 years.

[Friend 3:] Would you consider anti-depressant medication?

We have been taking Prozac since late May 1995, with a brief foray to a couple of other ADs when we thought that the Prozac wasn't working. It turned out that Prozac was the best for us, but we had been taking a dose that was too high and caused us to be agitated. So our current dose is best.

We are deep into trauma work, something we didn't want to have to deal with, as we didn't think it was necessary to go "looking for trouble." But we're realizing that optimum functionality is dependent on processing trauma. With this in mind, we don't want to be so strongly medicated that we can't do this.

[Friend 4:] i wonder if any answer that speaks to your logical mind about this could have any effect of change at all. and i wonder, if it is not a logical answer you need, what is it that could make a difference for you?

Charity and Deborah, who wrote the original post, are both people who operate from emotion rather than from logic. Charity gets particularly frustrated when our T tries to have her reason through emotions.

What the two of them want is unconditional acceptance as people, no matter what their feelings are or whether those feelings are beneficial to their well-being or not. We have spent much of our life being judged and having to live up to (seemingly) impossible standards to feel/be accepted. We don't want to perpetuate this, especially where our healing is concerned.