Dialogue, 9/4/17

by Charity and Allegra

C: I feel like everything I know that’s familiar and true has been destroyed. That I can’t depend on anything. That there’s no point to anything.

A: How about….instead of thinking of things as “everything destroyed”….that you’re free of the shackles of old perceptions that no longer serve your well-being?

I don’t know what to make of that idea.

You’ve always seen yourself and us collectively as being shackled by circumstance. Not making a judgment here….just an observation. I don’t want to diminish the validity of powerlessness for you or for anyone. There are a lot of people who are legitimately powerless in many ways.

But can people be completely powerless? At least, people living in a free society like ours?

Think of that public-service ad for the domestic-violence hotline. The one where the woman isn’t ready to leave an abusive situation. The voiceover says, “We’re here when you’re ready.” What the ad is saying is that there are resources available. But it’s also saying that not everyone who needs them is ready to reach out, and that they accept this. They don’t accept the abuse, but they accept the validity of the victim not being ready yet.

But lately I keep feeling that you and Mary and Rachel haven’t accepted the validity of my not being ready. That you all hold me to a higher standard than you hold anyone else inside.

That’s true. :-/ I’m sorry about that.

[after some time adjusting font colors on previous dialog posts]

Now I feel angry. And I don’t know why.

Can you just accept that you feel angry and that you don’t know why and just “be” with it?

How do I work through a feeling if I don’t actively process it?

Sometimes processing is acceptance. And by “acceptance,” I don’t mean that the thing to be accepted is okay. I mean acknowledging the reality of it and then moving forward—allowing your perception of it to evolve in a healthy way.

And sometimes processing occurs in the background. There are times when it’s best for our well-being to let the processing happen that way.

I suppose so. I’m thinking that right now I’d rather go get all of our laundry done than keep thinking about this. :-) And that’s saying a lot.