by Laura and Allegra
A forum discussion originated about the topic of romantic relationships within a system but broadened to include intra-system relationships in general. To what degree are internal relationships are similar to relationships with outside people?
We found the topic difficult to address because it was still couched in the original context. We would rather address platonic system relationships in a separate discussion; it's much less triggering if we separate the two. We just don't want to discuss the romantic thing at all, or read posts about it. We prefer to avoid the topic altogether.
Subsequently, another member of the same forum started a separate discussion as we had suggested. We felt much more comfortable discussing relationships outside of the context of what our inside kids call "gross big-people stuff."
Our system of 47 has a total of five sectors, plus three who are unsectored. They are ~Light~ and Gideon, our non-corporeal yin-yang tandem, and Drew, who prefers to live in isolation.
We think that Drew was always an adult, even during the body's childhood, as opposed to everyone in the sectors, who originated as children and evolved to their current ages, anywhere between six months and 25 years. Drew is an androgynous, binary cis female who nevertheless feels strongly that gender should be irrelevant except in medical treatment. Everyone in the system is binary cisgender, and we identify collectively as such.
Regardless of sector, we basically have three levels of presence: Those who are at or near the front often; those who are rarely or never so; and those who are in the realm between the two. (Note: This is not to be confused with physical presence in our innerworld, which is comparable to presence in any 3d location.)
In terms of fronting/consciousness:
At or near the front are four of the five bigs, two of the 14 teens, one 8.5-year-old, and one five-year-old (eight people total).
Far away from the front are 21 of us:
Probably too much information, but whatever.
We have a number of what our T calls "dyads," that is, pairs of people who are often or always together. These dyads exist in all three levels of consciousness relative to fronting. Only about six of us never participate in a dyad.
Lastly, one of the hardest lessons that we've had to learn is that we're not as coconscious as we'd like to believe. Even though we've accounted for everyone in our system for many years, knowing of everyone's existence is not the same as being able to communicate with them. We're hoping that we can work toward better communication and stronger, healthier relationships.
A forum discussion originated about the topic of romantic relationships within a system but broadened to include intra-system relationships in general. To what degree are internal relationships are similar to relationships with outside people?
We found the topic difficult to address because it was still couched in the original context. We would rather address platonic system relationships in a separate discussion; it's much less triggering if we separate the two. We just don't want to discuss the romantic thing at all, or read posts about it. We prefer to avoid the topic altogether.
Subsequently, another member of the same forum started a separate discussion as we had suggested. We felt much more comfortable discussing relationships outside of the context of what our inside kids call "gross big-people stuff."
Our system of 47 has a total of five sectors, plus three who are unsectored. They are ~Light~ and Gideon, our non-corporeal yin-yang tandem, and Drew, who prefers to live in isolation.
We think that Drew was always an adult, even during the body's childhood, as opposed to everyone in the sectors, who originated as children and evolved to their current ages, anywhere between six months and 25 years. Drew is an androgynous, binary cis female who nevertheless feels strongly that gender should be irrelevant except in medical treatment. Everyone in the system is binary cisgender, and we identify collectively as such.
Regardless of sector, we basically have three levels of presence: Those who are at or near the front often; those who are rarely or never so; and those who are in the realm between the two. (Note: This is not to be confused with physical presence in our innerworld, which is comparable to presence in any 3d location.)
In terms of fronting/consciousness:
At or near the front are four of the five bigs, two of the 14 teens, one 8.5-year-old, and one five-year-old (eight people total).
Far away from the front are 21 of us:
- all eight of the children under the age of five
- six of the nine children between five and seven
- three of the nine children between eight and 11
- two of the 14 teens
- ~Light~ and Gideon
Probably too much information, but whatever.
We have a number of what our T calls "dyads," that is, pairs of people who are often or always together. These dyads exist in all three levels of consciousness relative to fronting. Only about six of us never participate in a dyad.
Lastly, one of the hardest lessons that we've had to learn is that we're not as coconscious as we'd like to believe. Even though we've accounted for everyone in our system for many years, knowing of everyone's existence is not the same as being able to communicate with them. We're hoping that we can work toward better communication and stronger, healthier relationships.
[Drew later added:]
My given name is Alexandra Drew, which means "skilled defender." I use my middle name because it is gender-neutral. I suppose I could have decided to call myself Alex, but the option never occurred to me, as I see that name used for males more often than females. I do not see myself as an Alex.
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