Hope For the Journey

by Mary

[Reply to a new forum member who expressed fear about moving  forward in her healing process.]

Welcome to the forum.  We think a lot of people here can identify with what you wrote.

It sounds to us like you have a very good therapist.  That's fortunate.  And we understand about being afraid to face certain things or deal with them. 

When we feel like this--knowing we have to do something to heal, but being afraid of moving forward--our T reminds us that we don't have to rush or do it all at one.  We can start with very small pieces. 

Another thing we fear is letting go of unhelpful thoughts and feelings; we hold onto what's familiar, even if it's harmful, because we see letting go as falling into nothingness.  Our T reminds us that when we discard something unhelpful, we create room for something positive to take its place. 

We know she's right and that nature abhors a vacuum.  But we keep fearing that when we create that open space, nothing good will actually come.  Perhaps this may be true at first, but we have to remember that we are the one responsible for filling this space. 

We got through our childhood and adolescence simply by showing up.  We got good grades in school with little or no effort.  We behaved.  We lived reactively rather than actively, floating passively from experience to experience, from day to day and from year to year, rarely making any real choices or taking responsibility for our own well-being. 

But now we know we need to do more than this.  We need take action to create our own healing and well-being.

Some of the others with me don't have hope.  Yet.  But I do, and I believe in them, and I believe in us as a group.  And I invite you to see what you can do for you.

Wishing you hope for the journey.