Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Don't Want to Be Real

by Charity

This is not about harming the body.  We don't do that.

I don't want to ground.  I don't want to be in the here and now.  I don't want to be real.  I don't want to feel powerless.  I don't want to feel angry.  I don't want to feel sadness or pain.  I don't want to feel at all.

I wish I could just disappear.  But the more our system heals, the harder it is for me to hold onto what feels safe.  I can't go back to my own world.  I can't go back to being the person I want to be, in a world the way I want it to be, with people who are all the way I want them to be.  The truth has come crashing down, and I don't want to be a part of it.  :-(

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