by Charity
This is not about harming the body. We don't do that.
I don't want to ground. I don't want to be in the here and now. I don't want to be real. I don't want to feel powerless. I don't want to feel angry. I don't want to feel sadness or pain. I don't want to feel at all.
I wish I could just disappear. But the more our system heals, the harder it is for me to hold onto what feels safe. I can't go back to my own world. I can't go back to being the person I want to be, in a world the way I want it to be, with people who are all the way I want them to be. The truth has come crashing down, and I don't want to be a part of it. :-(
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