"Meh"

by Charity

This weekend we've been feeling what some of the others call "meh."  We left work on Friday on a decent note emotionally, as we'd just had a productive conversation with our boss about a specific project, and about having more one-on-one conversations about maximizing our value as an employee.

But it was very cold on Thursday and Friday, and it snowed a few inches on Saturday.  We didn't go out all weekend, even though the weather forecast rang true and the temperature rose to the low-to-mid 50s F and melted all the snow.

We learned that Deborah (23) doesn't like snow, or cold, or winter.  Her reaction to the weather was a  good part of why we slid downhill emotionally.  The good thing was that it gave us some clarity in that there had been some confusion between Deborah's feelings and Aurora13's feelings.  They are close.  But we've known for some time that Aurora13 likes winter, because it feels peaceful to her, especially when the snow falls and the world slows down around us.  Aurora13 sees the cold and the snow as a blanket of safety.

Newfound clarity aside, there's still the matter of our current mood.  It's nowhere near as bad as last weekend, when our hormones were in flux.  Despite our biological state in life, we still get hormonal fluctuations and really bad PMDD-like mood swings.  What gets us through the dark times is knowing when the problem is biological.  And not wanting to hurt our family.

Most of our current stress is work-related.  We'll leave it at that, rather than go into details that would only trigger us again.  We're hoping that as many of our co-workers go on vacation during the next two weeks, being in a quiet office will settle us down.